Life After Death by Pam McCagh
Who Said It Was Not Christmas?
This is the second story that they gave me along with five other stories that morning.
I opened my mind and there he was, a man leaning over a bed, gently wrapping the blankets around a young boy. “Is it Christmas yet, father?” I heard him ask. “Yes, it is.” “But I thought you said Christmas was two months away?” “Who said it was not Christmas tomorrow?’’A smile came on the young boy face, “Is it really going to be Christmas tomorrow?” “Yes, it is,” his father said, “yes,” as he leaned over and kissed the boy on his forehead. “I promise you, when you wake up tomorrow morning, it will be Christmas.”
The father walked slowly out of the bedroom, leaving the lights on for the young boy, as he was afraid of the dark. His father went downstairs and made himself a pot of tea and thought.
All of a sudden, he jumped up and opened the cupboards, looking to see what was there. He was quite happy about what he saw. Then he turned around and walked over to the door and out into the garage. Rumbling through some boxes he found the box he was looking for, picking it up with a smile on his face. He took it back indoors. He opened the box then thought there must be another one somewhere.He went back into the garage to find the other box… yes. He said it was right on the top. He pulled the box down taking it back into the kitchen,’ and opened it. Yes, he felt very pleased with himself. He walked into the living room looking for a place to stand the Christmas tree. If I move the chair, the Christmas tree will look perfect, there.
When Tommy walks through the door he will see it first. Without saying another word he pulled the chair out of the way, going back into the kitchen and brought two boxes back into the living room.The largest one was the Christmas tree, which he started to set up. The second box he opened was all the beautiful Christmas decorations his wife had put aside three years ago.He didn’t want to think about his wife at the moment, as she had passed away. It was Tommy’s turn now.
He took out the Christmas decorations, slowly placing them on the Christmas tree. Tears started to fall down his face, as he remembered his wife and daughter Kerry. He tried to shut out the memories. He had to turn away from the Christmas tree and walk into the kitchen, finding a tissue and wiping his eyes.
No matter how long it took, he couldn’t stop the tears from falling, remembering that fateful day when a policeman knocked on the door and said, “I’m sorry to say, but your wife has been in an accident, both your wife and your daughter died instantly.”All the memories came flooding back, as he slowly slid down the cupboard onto the floor. He didn’t want to cry out loud in fear that his son would hear.He took a tea towel from the side and tried to smother the sobs. It was quite a few moments later that he was able to stand up and once again walk over to the Christmas tree to put on the rest of the decorations, telling himself time and time again, “This is Tommy’s Christmas.”
He stood back and admired in the tree, thinking to himself, “that turned out really beautiful.” It was not a word he would normally say, but it was his wife’s word,
Putting the empty boxes back into the garage, walking upstairs and pulling something from underneath the bed. It was a train set. He had bought it just a couple of weeks ago, but he was afraid his son wasn’t going to make Christmas, so he was determined to make Christmas tomorrow.
Slowly he put the train set together on the floor piece by piece. He wrapped it up. The new jumper, he had bought him for winter as the weather was changing and it was getting cold. Tommy felt the cold. Mother had said, “Make sure Tommy has got a warm jumper.”Time was getting on now. ’’I must hurry.’’ He carefully placed all the presents around the tree. He placed a cup of hot chocolate on a tray, with his son’s favourite, a gingerbread man. His mother used to bake them every year for them. Now he had to buy them from the shop. Brushing away the thoughts of his wife and his daughter again, he thought of music he was going to play. Everything was nearly ready.
He looked around to make sure that he had not forgotten anything, the tree, decorations, presents and the Christmas songs and of course, Tommy’s favourite, hot chocolate and a gingerbread man. He was just going to walk upstairs when he thought he would leave the lights off so when Tommy came down he would have a surprise. “Yes, that would be a surprise,’’ he told himself.He walked upstairs to Tommy’s bedroom and opened the door. He bent down and whispered, “Father Christmas has been Tommy. He’s brought you lots of presents.” He whispered again, but his son didn’t move.“Tommy,” his voice was more desperate now, “Father Christmas has been.” Turning his son over, his body was lifeless and his eyes were wide open. He took his son into his arms and slowly closed his eyes. He stroked back a piece of hair that had fallen into Tommy’s eyes and kissed Tommy’s forehead.
Looking up to the ceiling he screamed out, “I hate you. You weren’t content to take my wife and my daughter, you had to take the last thing that I loved, my son.” With tears streaming down his face, he held on to his son, all the time cursing. He carried his son down the stairs and into the living room, turning on the light and telling Tommy, “It’s Christmas Tommy, see what daddy did for you last night.” He placed his son into the chair and put on the Christmas lights.
He took the presents one by one and opened them. He started with a track and after he had fixed the track into the place he put trains onto the track. “See Tommy, look at your beautiful train set.’’ He looked to where his son was sitting lifeless. He turned on the switch and the train started to move. “Look Tommy.” He looked across to his son, his son never moved. He walked across to his son and picked him up in his arms, shouting with so much anger, “You’ll never take my soul, you will never take my soul.” He took his son back up to the bedroom and laid him on the bed kissing him on the forehead for the last time.
He walked back down the stairs and called for the ambulance. His son was buried next to his mother and his sister. He walked away. He walked towards the train station and sat down. He thought about his wife and his daughter and son and there was so much hatred in his soul. “You will never get my soul,” he shouted again, as he walked towards the railway lines and waited and just before the train stopped, he jumped with the words still on his mind. “You’ll never get my soul.”
When I met Tommy’s father he was sitting at the railway station, on the bench, he had been there for many years. I think sometimes it takes a long time for the soul to forgive.Just behind him I could see Tommy and his mother and sister standing there. Tommy came over and took my hand. “Is it time Tommy asked?” “Yes I think so,” I told him. “Your father called me this morning.” At that very moment, Tommy’s father looked to where I was standing. He stood up and walked towards me. “Are they all here?” he asked. “Yes, your wife is standing behind you and Tommy’s here with me and your daughter is standing in front of you.”
He looked, and then all of a sudden he took his wife in his arms. I couldn’t stay and watch, it was too sad, everyone was crying and everyone was hugging each other as I walked away. It would have been a few days, later when Tommy’s father came, I was in my office. I felt just a gentle touch on my shoulder and I knew it was Tommy’s father. “Thank you,” he said and walked away. This is just one of the stories, from my latest book. I have written 12 books,’’ and 507 individual stories,’’ from all walks of life and from all over the world.’’
All my stories are written by automatic writing.
©By Pam McCagh©
The Butterfly Wings
I heard children laughing and then the strangest noise that I have ever heard. I turned around and there were hundreds of butterflies coming towards me. It was the noise of the butterfly wings. I saw the children holding out their hands waiting for the butterflies to land on them. “Do you believe in miracles?” I heard someone ask me. I turned around and there was a very tall young man standing there. “Yes I believe in miracles,” I told him.
“Do you think that they do?” He asked me. I looked towards where the children were still laughing and screaming, waiting for the butterflies as they gently landed on their heads and arms and nose. The laughter was beautiful.This is where the children learn to laugh again, this is where the children learn to live again.He asked me to take a seat. As I sat down beside him on an old bench, I leaned back, listening to every sound.
The laughing had started to get fainter and the butterflies wings softer and all I was left with was an emptiness. “Where did they go?” I asked. “Not far,” he said, “not far at all.”He told me to relax and look towards the trees.I slowly felt my eyes closing as I listened to the beautiful sound of the wind in the trees. I could hear something else from a distance. There were lots of people talking. I felt someone gently touch me on my shoulder asking, “Would you like to walk with me?”
I found myself standing up and walking beside him. “Where are we?” I asked. “I felt you should know and understand the depression that they feel.” The depression was falling around me.I didn’t like the feeling at all. I stood beside the bed with a little boy called David. He looked so sick he must have sensed the man being there.He opened his eyes, gently asking, “Can we go now?”
The man that I was with, gently laid his hands on the boy’s forehead calling him by his name, “David, not long now, David.”David, I didn’t think saw me, I just saw the man standing by the side of him.I heard young David talking to him.
We walked away from David’s bed and walked across to a little girl, the most beautiful little girl I’d ever seen, with masses of blonde hair. When I looked back again, her hair had gone.“What happened?” I asked. “He said you were looking into the past. Bring your thoughts into the future.” I did, but I didn’t like the future. The little girl was laying there so pale. A beautiful smile came to her face when she saw the man standing by the side of the bed asking, “Clara, are you ready now?” The little girl opened her eyes not saying a word and gently closed them again.
I watched the smile coming onto her face. “What is happening?” I asked the man. “Close your eyes, then open them again,” he told me and as I did I saw two other little girls help the little girl out of the bed.One little girl gave her a beautiful bracelet, the other little girl took hold of her hand. I watched. For one split second as the little girl turned around to look towards the bed, she could see herself still laying there. She looked at the man and smiled as they walked away. He looked across to me. I knew what he was trying to tell me, it was the little girl’s time to go. I couldn’t help feeling the pain and the sadness.
“Why are you sad?” he asked. He took my hand and told me she will never feel pain again. She will never feel sadness and she will learn to smile again. He gently let go of my hand, walking out of the room into another one. “What happened?” I asked, as I watched two young children just laying there on a cold slab. The feeling of emptiness was just overpowering. I didn’t like this feeling at all. “What do you feel?” he asked me. I looked at him and told him, “emptiness.” “That is good,” he said. I looked at him in disbelief. He said, “You feel emptiness because that is just as it should be, their souls have passed over. There is nothing left, just the frame of what once was.
“Come,” he said. I started to walk beside him. “Close your eyes,” he told me. I closed them and a moment later he told me to open them again. I heard children, but this time there was a lot of confusion. I saw children sick and tired, just standing there doing nothing.
“What is happening to the children?” I asked. I saw a little boy about 11 years-old standing there, his hair had fallen out. His eyes were black and the room was miserable, there was no smile on his face, just emptiness.
I saw another little boy close by. He was sitting down with his head leaning on his knees. I wanted to turn away, but I could not I look again. He said, “Maybe your memories will help someone else to understand, these are the children that are hanging on to life because they are too afraid to let go, not for themselves, but for their loved ones.”Once again I went to turn away. “Look again,” he said. I saw five or six children lost in their own thoughts. He placed his hand on my shoulder and guided me out of the room. Then I felt the sunshine on my face and I was back with the butterflies.
I felt myself relaxing, I was taken into two different worlds, one where the children couldn’t let go and the other one, where the children have learned to live again.I felt the happiness that they felt. I looked across to where the man was standing, he looked at me and said, “Tell your story, it is important that the people who lose their children understand, not to hang on to the children. The children are very sensible about death.
But it is very difficult for loved one’s to understand. Tell them that their children are never far from them, but most importantly, tell them their children have learned to smile again.”
This story and hundreds more,’ was written by automatic Writing
© By Pam mcCagh ©
These Stories Were Written By Channelling
Jamie, I keep hearing someone calling, Jamie. I see a young boy climbing back into his bed, he looks across and smiles at me and asks, “Can you tell them I will be okay?” I take a closer look and I can see a little boy about 11 years old in his pajamas. Lying on a bed, he has lost all his hair and he has some kind of huge machine by the side of him. “I am going to die, he told me very precisely, I am going to die soon, but I want my mummy to know that everything is going to be okay. She is not a strong person you know, she pretends to be, but she is not.
I sometimes hear her crying when she thinks I am asleep. I let her cry; it is easier that way for her. I know that I am dying and I know that once I am dead I will be okay. The man came and told me a few months ago and took me to a place where he said that I would stay with him for a while until I felt better. He was very nice, not at all like people used to say.”I asked him, “What people and what did they say?” “They said that Mr Death would come and take me away.
The place that they described did not sound very nice at all, but this man took me to a beautiful place. I liked it very much, and while I was there, he told me how to accept things that we could not change. I tried to tell mummy, but she would not listen.So, the next time the man came for me,” I asked, “Could you please take my mummy next time because it would help her to understand where I am going?” “I am sorry,” he said, “but this journey is just for you and you alone.
Your mother will come later.” “Now I have to find a way to let my mummy understand that I will be okay.I know that she is going to miss me and I know that all my friends will miss me at school.” “But there is nothing that we can do about it,” the man said and I understand now. “I do not want to live the rest of my life in pain and I do not want to live the rest of my life in hospitals and see my mum crying everyday. Do you understand?” He looks at me and asks again. “Yes,” I told him, “I do understand.” “Then why doesn’t mummy understand?”
“Your mummy is different. Your mummy loves you very much.” “Can you help me?” “I will try,” I promised. I felt his energy fading away and I was left standing there.I saw someone from the corner of my eye and I told him, “I am worried, what can I do to help him?” “He is going on a journey. You cannot go with him.” “Will you be able to explain to his mother what is going to happen to Jamie?” I asked him, “Did he know when Jamie was going to go again?” “Tomorrow night.” “I will be ready.”
I went to bed early that night. I didn’t tell my husband what was happening because I really did not understand myself what was going to Happen. I had not been long in bed when someone asked me, “Are you ready?” It was a little girl. She carefully took hold of my hand and walked me to the front door. After that, I do not know where or what happened. I just know that I was in a beautiful place that felt so comfortable and I could hear the children playing and laughing. It was beautiful to hear them so full of life.
I had spent quite a few nights in the hospital with the little boy. It was awful. There was sadness all around and depression. Doctors were coming in and out with needles and electrical parts were put on children’s bodies, monitoring them, it was so miserable. No wonder the little boy felt so lost.This was a different place. The sun was shining and there were beautiful trees to play hide and seek. I could smell something, but I did not recognise the smell. It was like toffee apples, ice cream, chocolate, candyfloss and much, much, more. Then I felt someone slowly put their hand into mine, it was Jamie. I asked, “Do you like it here?” “Very much,” he answered.
Jamie asked, “Do you think my mother would like it here?” “I am sure she would,” with that he gave me a beautiful smile and walked away. I watched him for quite a long time playing with the other children. His hair had grown back and he looked so healthy. Then all of a sudden, the little girl took my hand again and said, “It is time to go back.”Funny, I did not want to go back either, it felt so good. As I said, you cannot put the feeling into words. It was a place to play; it was a place with no cares, no pain and no misery. It was a place where only good things happen, but most of all; it was a place where children could smile again.
I climbed back into bed and my husband asked, “Are you ready to get up, the alarm clock just went off?” It was four–thirty in the morning. I climbed out of bed and put the kettle on. My husband popped his head around the corner and said, “Did you get any sleep last night?” “No,” I said, “not much.” “I think you should go back to bed,” he said. Later I shouted, “I am just going to feed the fish.” “It is 4-30 in the morning and it is still dark,” he shouted as I went through the door. “No problems, I will take a torch.”I just needed to get some fresh air. While I was out, I felt a little hand coming into mine again. I looked down and Jamie was looking back up.
“Are you going to see my mummy?” he asked. “Yes, I promised.” It was a few days later and I found myself back in the hospital ward where Jamie used to be. I could hear a lot of noise and confusion going on. Jamie’s mother was still sitting there. I watched her walk down the hall and out into the garden. She found a little place behind the trees, sitting there crying. I waited a while, and then asked, “Would you mind if I sat with you?”She did not say anything. She did not even look up, I told her a story about the little boy that I had met and how brave he was. I told her the misery that I felt when I was in the children’s ward. With that, she looked up and started to tell me about her son Jamie. She said, “It is miserable there isn’t it?
I sit with Jamie every day and sometimes he says something, other times he cannot speak.” She dried her eyes with a handkerchief that I gave to her; “Have you met my Jamie?” She asked me. “Yes,” I told her very proudly, “I met Jamie a few weeks ago.” She looked down at the handkerchief and smiled. “I do not want to lose him,” she said, looking straight back into my eyes. “No,” I said, “I know. Jamie also knows, that is why Jamie is still here.”She questioned me with her eyes. I told her that I am a wandering soul and that Jamie asked me to help him. She did not say anything. “I told your son he needs to let go. He is only staying for your sake, he is suffering so much.”She didn’t know what to say.
I told her that her son had taken me on a journey to where he would find peace. Still she never said a word. Then I told her about the place where Jamie is now and how it makes Jamie feel, especially his mother whom he loves very much. We sat there together for quite a while and then one of the nurses came and said; “Jamie is asking for you.”
She walked straight past me and back into the ward. Before she went to Jamie’s bed, she stopped and looked around. She saw the things that I was seeing, with so much pain and so much misery and took him into her arms.
She told her son how much she loved him and not one teardrop fell. She never once told him how she would miss him, instead she told him all the things that they had both done together. She told him about the beautiful place that he was going to visit with the other children and that she would never be far away.
She laid her son gently back onto the bed and I know that Jamie heard every word. He looked across the room to where I was standing and I watched him as he closed his eyes as his mother took him in her arms and sang him a lullaby.I watched Jamie’s eyes slowly open to look at his mother for the last time. Then he slowly closed them and there was stillness all around the room. Everything stopped just for that moment of time. I watched Jamie sit up, I watched him get out of bed and walk around to his mother’s side, I watched him place his arms around her neck and gently kiss her on the cheek.
I heard someone calling him as he started to walk towards the man. Just before the light dimmed, Jamie looked around and asked, “Please look after my mummy?” and he was gone.I did not see or hear anything for some weeks and then one afternoon while I was meditating, Jamie came and kissed me on my cheek and said, “Thank you, my mummy is going to be okay now.” He looks so proud of himself, his hair has grown back and the colour has come back into his cheeks. He is no longer thin and scrawny. He bent his head and looks at his new jeans. With his little hands on the side of his hips, “Do you like my new jeans?” he asked. “Yes I do,” I said.He turned around and walked away. I thought about his mother often, but I know if Jamie thought that she needed me anymore, Jamie would have come, but he did not. God bless him.
The Whispering Souls
Let tomorrow look after itself
The sun was shining on a brand new day. Could this be my last day? I never know. I have been sick for three years and each day that went by, I wanted to die, but when you have prayed as much as I had, and there is nowhere else to go. You feel lost and although there are people around you who tell you daily that they love you and you know that they do, it just does not seem to sink in.
The prayers have stopped now and I feel there is nowhere else to go. I live every day as if it was my last one, but now I know the time is getting closer and I am afraid. I feel empty inside, but today is another day and the sun is shining. I waved to my children as they leave for school and then turned around to an empty house. I walked to my bedroom and lay on the bed as tears came from nowhere. My heart feels although it is breaking. I hear something, I lift my head off the pillow, calling out “Is anybody there?” Nobody answers so I just lay there. I was just about to get up when I heard a voice telling me, Margaret, please lay still.
I do not know why, but I let myself lie back down and rest my head back onto the pillow. Then from nowhere, a beautiful light appeared. I could not see anything but I heard the most beautiful music that I have heard. Then I heard a voice telling me not to be afraid. As I felt my body tense up, someone gently placed something on my forehead. It felt very cool and penetrating and I felt myself relaxing. I could hear someone talking to me but I did not understand who. I just drifted along with the music. Then I felt a beautiful peace within that I could never explain. It seemed to take over my body. It has made my body warm but cool and for the first time I accepted death. I thought to myself, if this is death, then I am ready to go.
My mind started to wander back through my life. I thought of all the places that I had been and all the people I had met. I could see things as if it was yesterday. Then people’s faces started to come in. I remember thinking; these are people who I remembered in my childhood that I had completely forgotten about. Standing there in front of me some of the people came forward and touched me. Others just stood back. I was to learn later that the people who came forward were the ones who have passed on. The ones who stood back are still living. I could feel the music slowly drifting away now, I was left with such contentment I thought I was going to wake up and find myself dead.
When I opened my eyes, I was still laying on my bed in my bedroom. I lay there for quite a long time trying to understand what had just taken place. Was it a dream? I thought no, but I had a feeling that I could live forever. I got myself up out of the bed, showered, dressed, and then walked into my garden. I have not done much with the garden for a long time. I released that I was not living for today – I was always thinking of tomorrow, but today would be different. I thought that I would cook something special for tea and bake Jeremy his favourite cake.
Jeremy was my husband. We had been together for 25 years. He was such a good husband. We had two boys – Ben and Gordon. They were two different children altogether, both special in their own way. I saw my neighbor passing by I walked towards him. I wished David good morning, but he just looked at me for a moment and smiled. “Good to see you around enjoying your garden.” he replied. I smiled back at David and thanked him. I had not spoken to the neighbors for a long time. I thought they did not want to talk to me. I believe they just did not know what to say. I think it puts both parties in an awkward situation. Now my life is going to change, as I am going to live for today and let tomorrow look after itself.
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